When to quit your manager?
Straight Truth
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A reader asked:
"What are the attributes that you expect from a great manager? With so many organizational changes, how do you know when you have a manager willing to support you and when it's time to cut bait? "
Attributes of a great manager:
Honest - willing to discuss hard issues in a collaborative, not critical way. Includes giving direct feedback when required, but also removing team members who undermine the team.
Competent - enough experience and skill to organize the team, clear roadblocks, etc.
Supportive - understands that their success comes from the team; invests in team members believing that a strong team is more important than one short-term outcome.
There are many other attributes, but one who is honest, competent at the basic job, and supportive is worth staying with, because many managers fall short of at least part of this list.
Remember, you and I are not perfect employees, so we cannot expect perfect managers.
We offer them our honest work and best efforts and must be satisfied when they give us the same, not perfection.
So when do you leave?
When these critical traits are missing.
But how do you know if they are missing?
3 ways to assess a manager:
Beforehand, by checking references through your network. Ask people who have worked for them, past and present. Nothing will give you more insight than listening to other perspectives. If they are strongly negative, skip everything else and run away (or if you have the choice, don't take the job). Read How To Find a Great Manager.
Observe them. Actions speak louder than words. Do they support others? Address problems?
Invest in the relationship. Relationships take two people and first impressions count. Go out on a limb to help your manager from the start, read The Magic Loop for my rapid career growth framework. Set a good impression. Ask how you can help, work hard, and if you are a distrusting cynic by nature, squash that for a bit. If you sit back and wait to judge them first, they will feel that and you'll be off on the wrong foot.
This last part is important.
Many "bad" managers are not as bad as you think, because we play a part in the process.
We want lots of praise, little corrective feedback, rapid promotion, the best projects, and work/life balance.
Managers are human and have lots of people pulling at them. What we are looking for is a manager who treats us as human beings, not as a "resource.” If they do, that is enough.
For me, the time to leave a manager is when an honest attempt to work with them and build a relationship has failed, and they treat us as a cog in their machine.
The dead minimum for this is 3 months. 6-9 months is more fair.
Reader follow-up question.
Q1: Does it really take so long to try and build a manager relationship?
It does not always take so long. But relationships do take time and there is a cost to switching managers. Sometimes it is worth the effort to build relationships with people through a little friction.
Two of my very best managers were business leaders who were not particularly excited about inheriting an engineering team (my team) in reorganizations. We built relationships together and accomplished great things as duos.
Audience Insights
I have consolidated additional ideas worth considering from my LinkedIn audience, including:
Questions to ask when interviewing a manager:
Who have you recently promoted and why?
How do you keep your top performers challenged?
If someone is struggling, how do you support them?
When do you know it’s time to help people rotate off your team?
Have you had to fire anyone from the team and why?
Part of the “Supportive” attribute is creating a space of psychological safety where the team is empowered and excited to take bold bets and explore their potential without the fear of failure.
Other traits of a “great manager”:
Gives ownership to others (and does not take it away).
Shares in the team’s success and takes ownership of team failures.
Consistency in approach, communication, feedback, and decisions (not a constant flip-flopper).
Skillful in giving and receiving feedback.
Respectful.
Readers recommended Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink and use the evaluation framework:
Autonomy - is my manager allowing me the autonomy to perform my job as I see fit?
Mastery - is my manager helping me to achieve mastery in skills or areas that interest me?
Purpose - does my manager help find me opportunities that give me purpose in my job?
“You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with” is a popular saying. Your manager may be one of those 5 people. Thus, it is worth asking yourself “Do I want to become more or less like my manager?”
If you found this helpful, share this article with your team and peers.
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