Straight Truth: Women Get Passed Over For Leadership Roles
Women and all minorities get passed over for leadership.
This is one of the uglier Straight Truths to address.
Let’s face why, what women can do about it, and what men can do to help.
A reader commented on a previous article:
“Your perspective is written from someone who has not suffered from “discrimination” and “sexism”. Being a woman could be perceived as a fatal flaw disguised under “too quiet” and therefore not promotable. We perpetuate this kind of bias by not acknowledging that there is a difference between how men and women are evaluated at work for leadership roles.”
Obvious disclaimer: I am a man about to do my best to advise women on how to succeed. My help can be at best partial.
Why Women Get Passed Over.
Bigotry and bias. Part of women and minorities being passed over is bias: conscious and unconscious.
Part of it comes from gender roles. Women carry more of the burden of home and child care, conflicting with the demands of the career ladder.
Part of it comes from behavioral expectations. People listen more to deeper voices. Taller candidates win elections.
Women’s Tough Choice.
Conform. Speak up simply to be heard. Interrupt others. Hire nannies and other home help so you can work long hours. Learn to talk sports. Drink!
Or
Work to change the system. Be your authentic self yet advocate for the promotion and other equal treatment. Likely your career will move more slowly, but things are changing for the better and you will be a part of that change.
The Straight Truth is that I know of no general case situation where a woman who doesn’t “play the man’s game” will move up at the same pace.
What Women Can Do.
Seek a company with more women in leadership.
Work for another woman if you can, at least part of your career.
Work for clear advocates for women and equality.
All minority groups: I know even less about your struggles so I will save that for a future post.
Some of the same things do help (e.g. work in a place with strong representation).
What Men Can Do.
Be aware we have unconscious biases.
Fight for women, knowing that by the time you meet them, they have had years of setbacks.
Don’t cover up for your “bros who are pigs.” The incidence of men behaving like pigs and others turning blind eyes is still way too common. Be better.
Important Notes to Address.
Yes, some women use or try to use, their gender to manipulate others. I wish they would not; they set others back.
Yes, a few people falsely claim harassment or are looking to find offense. These few do not offset the trends nor invalidate the needs of those who do not.
Yes, sometimes it is also women who cover up for or look the other way in cases of bad behavior. It is less than "bro" culture, but it happens. Again, they should not, and these rare instances do not invalidate the larger problem of women being passed over for leadership.
In summary, do not engage in "whataboutism"
Where we deny the Straight Truth that women and minorities face many kinds of roadblocks because occasionally there are exceptions and other bad behaviors. The trend is well established and a few specific counter-examples, while wrong, do not change this.
I welcome comments and shares to help cover my blind spots.
Audience Insights
I have consolidated additional ideas worth considering from my LinkedIn audience, including:
Be a stronger ally within your company and go beyond “be aware” and “fight for women” by looking at your company policies and evaluate whether the right structures are in place to drive equity for women, for example:
How does your company ensure performance reviews are not biased?
Does senior leadership reflect the customer and employee base? If not, what plans are in place?
Who is sponsoring, driving, and working on diversity and equity initiatives, is it only women and other underrepresented groups?
Does senior leadership (especially the men) sponsor women and other underrpresented groups? Know that the pressure to conform is not easy to overcome and creates tension with being your authentic self.
Be aware that women and minorities encounter another challenge irrespective of true merit, that they were “diversity hires.” A second order effect is women and minorities needing (or expected) to be more qualified and experienced compared to their male counterparts to be considered for a promotion or job.
Be aware that society is more tolerant of bad behaviors in men than women.
For example, we may tolerate a male manager who publicly chastises an employee as “He’s tough and uncompromising…but, he has vision and knows how to push his team.” Whereas a female manager who displays the same behavior gets described as a 5-letter swear word.
The same applies to penalizing women for “being too nice” or “not nice enough.” The conflicting bias from different people makes it challenging to find balance.
Gender role expectations also show up at work. For example, “Glue Work” is done by women more frequently than men.
For men, be aware and actively volunteer to own this type of work.
For leaders, balance “Glue Work” across your team and actively recognize and reward this valuable work.
Read Straight Truth: HR is not there to help you about a reader who was told that she could not be promoted until her male colleague caught up with her so that they could be promoted together. She went to HR and they provided no relief.
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Straight Truth is a series where I take people’s hard questions and answer them in as direct a manner as possible, cutting through the polite fiction of larger workplaces. Jobs and careers are not as “fair” as we hope. I cannot give you justice at work, I can give you the truth as I see it.
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