Executive attention is earned, not given
How to win support when managers, skips, and executive sponsors are busy, distracted, and in high demand (and how to run effective 1:1s when you are the manager)
Hello, it’s Ethan & Jason. Welcome to a *paid subscriber-only* edition of Level Up: Your source for executive insights, high performance habits, and specific career growth actions.
Here’s what newsletter paid subscribers shared on why they joined:
"You helped me to get a job at Databricks. Thanks!"
"It takes away the feeling of being "alone" in making mistakes on your way up when Ethan shares his failures and most importantly how he overcame those."
"I'm currently a Sr. Manager at Google that's trying to navigate the path to Director, and I've found your writing very informative and actionable. Thank you!"
If you want to move up and do well, you must develop the ability to cultivate your own support.
This means taking the initiative to form the necessary relationships, having the consistency to maintain them, and being likeable and valuable enough to receive dedicated attention.
On the flip side, if you are constantly fighting to be recognized by the right people, the problem is either you or your environment. In all but the worst of work environments, there are actions you can take to attract more positive attention and get support from your managers, skips, and teams.
Today’s Q&A newsletter is centered on how to build win/win relationships with key executive sponsors, your skip, manager, and team.
Here are the 4 questions from Level Up Community members:
“If you ask your manager for feedback regarding your promo and your manager says “If I have to give you feedback, you are not ready for promo”…How do you respond to that?” — Senior Manager, FAANG
“What are your insights around the time allocated to 1-1 meetings and whom to choose to invest this time on?” — Director, FAANG
“How do I build rapport and get feedback from my skip’s peers? They seem to be super busy and their availability is near 0. What are your suggestions?” — Senior Manager, Fortune 500
“How do you start to influence an important sponsor you identified with your manager as needed for the promotion document, when you had zero 1-1 interaction with that VP?” — Senior Manager, Tech
Below are my answers to each of the questions.
1. “If you ask your manager for feedback regarding your promo and your manager says “If I have to give you feedback, you are not ready for promo”…How do you respond to that?” — Senior Manager, FAANG
You leave.
Seriously. That is an ignorant position from a hostile leader. They are defending their total lack of concern about employee development with an attack that belittles you.
I could give you “reasonable” verbal responses, but they would mask the fundamental problem, which is that you need to be getting away from leaders like this, not appeasing them.
The time spent fighting a hostile leader can be much better spent getting a job with a good leader.
So, I would smile, say “Got it, thank you,” and go start networking to find a better manager in another role.
The reason there is no good response to your manager is that the framing leaves you with two bad options:
Ask for feedback anyway, which plays into the idea that you do “need the feedback” and so you are “not ready.”
Challenge the idea that feedback means weakness, which puts you in conflict with the manager.
Here are some longer-term options besides leaving to improve your situation:
Get your feedback from others for now. Your own peers, your manager’s peers, your skip level, and your stakeholders on projects. If your goal is to really learn, you can both get the input you need and build relationships with people on your promotion panel by asking them for feedback and acting on it.
Your manager would not say something like that to a friend or person they cared about. The harshness of their rebuke is a signal that your relationship with your manager is distant and/or strained. Now, maybe they treat most people the same way, but I have rarely seen a leader who doesn’t have at least one or two people they invest in. Figure out who they are and become one of them.
However, even in light of those options, my recommended Action is to leave.
Resources to become a stronger networker:
Be a High-Value Connector & Networker (with Andrew Yeung & Jason Yoong)
2. “What are your insights around the time allocated to 1-1 meetings and whom to choose to invest this time on?” — Director, FAANG
The fundamental problem with 1-1s is that they do not scale. As a result, many leaders fall into the trap of having too many.
One reason for this failure is that 1-1s tend to get used for two very different things: Project meetings and employee development meetings.
More often than not, the 1-1 turns into a project or status update that just happens to have two people present. However, the point of the 1-1 is that it is focused on the employee and their development. This is why it is conducted directly between two people instead of in a group.
My recommendation for allocating 1-1 time is to make sure these two uses are separate. This can be separated into different parts of the meeting agenda, but ideally they are separate events altogether.
To make sure project-oriented concerns don’t bleed into the employee’s 1-1 time, ask:
Could this be an email?
If not, is there a reason we are discussing it here and not in the team meeting?
Should this topic have more dedicated time in the team meeting
The bottom line is that time is precious, and 1-1s should be used to resolve “medium critical” issues, convey nuanced perspectives that cannot be written, and to develop/inspire each other.
They should not be used for business-as-usual or standard project updates. That is what team meetings are for.
Because time is so precious, 1:1 meetings should also not be improvised. The worst opening phrases for a 1-1 are “What should we talk about” or “What do you want to talk about?”
Both of these indicate that there is no agenda and no one has put in any preparation to make good use of the time. Thus, the time will likely not be put to good use.
While these questions can be positioned as “Giving the employee space,” that is usually a copout for lack of preparation. Instead, set the expectation up front that the employee should send an agenda in advance or reschedule the meeting. This rule should be firm, and it is very reasonable for more senior employees.
For early career employees, you may need to help them think through what makes a good agenda or even suggest items to them. But still, the expectation should always be that there is an agenda.
As a manager, you should also come prepared with your own items to discuss, if you have any. If you find yourself looking at your calendar and asking yourself, “Ethan is up next, what do I have to say to him?”, that is a clear indication that you are not ready for the 1-1.
Three good uses of 1-1s are:
Resolving “medium critical” items in batches. Truly critical problems should never wait for a 1-1, but there can be a bucket of important items needing discussion that can wait a few days. 1-1 discussions should end in decisions and actions for these cases.
Sensitive topics where you either have questions or expect to get questions are also appropriate for 1-1s. These are topics where writing is insufficient, either because you will have too much back and forth or because you want to be able to use voice inflection and body language to help navigate a difficult topic. Broadly speaking, while praise can go in an email if you wish, it is better to deliver criticism face to face and in private.
Career development. A common employee complaint is that their manager never discusses career growth with them. The 1-1 is the place for this, and it should be a topic at least every 1 to 2 months. Doing this benefits the manager in many ways. First, employees with a clear understanding of what they need to do to grow will tend to do those things, which will give you a stronger team. Second, frequent feedback both speeds up the growth process and ensures that there are no surprises come review time.
Finally, the core of the reader's question was who they should invest their time in.
The first answer is their direct reports. They are your highest leverage and most senior team members.
The second answer is top performers whom you think you can raise to further heights through direct investment of your time.
These two answers combine to tell you something important:
If your direct reports are not top performers, then you need to either help them get there or move on.
However, you should also be on the lookout for stars deeper in your organization that are worth your time, because they may be your future direct reports.
In summary, most of your 1-1 time should be with your direct reports because they, in turn, should be running good 1-1s with their team members. Doing the occasional skip level 1-1 is important to stay connected to depth in your organization, but overall, you need to be leading your team as a unit rather than one person at a time.
Having effective 1-1s with high-performing direct reports will allow you to do this.
3. “How do I build rapport and get feedback from my skip’s peers? They seem to be super busy and their availability is near 0. What are your suggestions?” — Senior Manager, Fortune 500
First things first, the situation is as it seems–they are super busy with near zero availability.
Since you are a Senior Manager, your skip-level leader is an executive. They and their peers are probably working 60+ hours a week, leading the organization at the highest level. By definition, they are using those 60 hours on what they believe will have the greatest impact on the business.
Whenever you ask a busy leader for time, realize that you are asking them to do one of two things: