Aging in tech, the truth
Straight Truth
When my hair started to go white at 40, I dyed it for many years.
My sole reason was to avoid looking too old at work.
A reader asked:
"I’m a product manager leader in the tech industry. I’ve spent time at small companies and larger ones like Amazon. One thing I have seen is the age of employees ICs, managers, executives. As a male in his 40s who wants to continue excelling in the corporate world / climbing up the ladder, what are skills to help keep relevant in an industry that may have bias towards older demographics?"
This topic has many Truths:
Yes, there is age bias and some people assume older workers "no longer get it" or "can't keep up."
The reader is male, but the focus and appearance pressure on women are higher. A remarkable woman I know was given “helpful advice” by HR (no less) as to what facial fillers and treatments would help her career.
Age bias cuts both ways. Being a "gray hair" can imply seniority and wisdom.
What can you do about these biases?
Reduce with familiarity. Those who know you and your work will not see your age, they will see your ability. An older worker has had more time to build your network and your connections. If you seek a promotion or a new job, seeking it through trusted colleagues who know your work will reduce the impact of bias. BUILD YOUR NETWORK!
Age should also imply greater experience and accomplishment. While some may see a lack of flexibility, stand on your track record of accomplishments. Find ways to showcase that experience. BE DEEP!
The reader asks what skills will keep you relevant. In tech, be familiar with Blockchain, AI, and whatever comes next. Even if your daily work is with Windows drivers that have been around for 30 years, don’t be left behind. When you do, you reinforce the stereotype you fear. STAY CURRENT.
Consider your overall appearance, broadly defined. I dyed my hair back to brown. But I also worked at Twitch, an Amazon subsidiary catering to ages 12-30, roughly. It increased my familiarity with younger generations and their interests. My ability to casually chat about video games and esports shot up. The people you hang out with and what you actually know define your apparent age as much as your hair color.
I invite readers to share your advice in the comments.
Audience Insights
I have consolidated additional ideas worth considering from my LinkedIn audience, including:
Dave Anderson astutely points out:
Somewhat between #3 and #4 is how you talk about yourself. I've *repeatedly* had older engineers or managers say things like, "Oh, haha, I'm so old, I don't keep up with that new Blockchain crap. Thankfully we don't use that here." or "I'm too old to go out to the bar like all you youngins."
Hell, I heard that from someone who was likely younger than me. They just didn't realize it.
When Ethan was wandering the halls at Twitch, he often had Twitch logo clothing on, and he chat about video games. I assure you, I never heard him say, "oh, I'm too old for video games."
As an older employee, you continue to learn. Continue to try hard. Don't isolate yourself from your younger co-workers, but learn what they're interested in. Not just to fit in, but because that's what friends and neighbors do.
As a younger employee, watch how the more senior employees behave. Learn well, and listen well. Don't ignore your older co-workers, but try to listen to what they've learned over the years. Again, not to kiss up or fit in, but because it's what friends and neighbors do.
Age cuts both ways.
One reader shared “One friend (Asian, male, age 37) dyes ~40% of his hair gray to look older. He went through his career being told "You look so young" and "Oh, you are 35 and have kids?! I thought you were 26." The perception it created with those who lacked knowledge of his work (he is a Top Tier / Exceeds Expectations performer) was that he was too junior or lacked the experience to be considered for senior roles and high visibility opportunities. He was advised by a mentor to dye his hair and once he did, the remarks stopped and he felt he was taken more seriously…I've heard similar remarks from other friends (all ages) whose work requires them to be more visible (e.g. speaking engagements, podcasts, conferences, etc). They try to appear older ("wiser") by adding glasses, facial hair, and gray hair.”
Ethan here. Long ago when I had the same problem (Vice President at startups before I turned 30), I grew a goatee because it helped me look older...and then I shaved it off when I needed to look younger. My bigger problem was simply being in a bit over my head and needing to learn...but looking so young hurt too with some people.
Another reader shared “I actually experienced age discrimination at a more established B2B company because I was younger. It was strange to me that ageism is prevalent at most other tech companies. Once I moved on, since I looked younger than middle aged, I felt more accepted BUT I couldn’t keep up with the younger generations life style. My point is that perception of age cuts so many ways in tech!”
Regarding resumes and LinkedIn, a reader asked: “What your views are on the trade offs between eliminating any experience beyond 15-18 years on your resume / LinkedIn vs. retaining / clubbing it?”
My response: I keep older experience on my resume, but I compress it into a small section at the end. Not to hide my age but because what I did 20 years ago is less relevant to someone considering me today. I'd rather give more of the limited space to what I am doing now.
Tying back to building a strong network, ideally you find a company that appreciates what you bring to the table. A reader shared:
“Being a woman over (well over) 40 aging is a harsh reality, especially in tech. I have felt like I had to hide things I am proud of; my almost 40 years of marriage, being a grandmother. Mostly because most of my peers were younger than my marriage was long. I don’t want to work anywhere that makes me feel like I need to hide these aspects of my life, they are an important part of my story and character.”
Don’t start to believe the bias connected with *you*. Not easy to do. Start by getting feedback from those who know you well.
Check your attitude. Realize if your “I’ve been here 15 years…” ego turns away people from partnering with you.
If you found this article helpful, share it with your team and peers.
Job Networking - Build A Strong Network
A network is something that cannot be built in a rush once you discover you need it.
Instead, relationships are something you cultivate over time, meeting people, getting to know them, and helping them with their own goals.
Many people struggle to make this investment because on any given day there is no apparent cost to skipping networking.
But when you need help or a new job opportunity, the value of a network is unparalleled.
I developed an on-demand Leadership Networking course to teach others how leaders build great networks and use them to their advantage.
Below is a highlight clip on the topic of Job Networking.
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